REASONS WHY YOUNG MEN FIND OLDER WOMEN MORE ATTRACTIVE
Nowadays, more younger men date and even marry older women than we might think.
For example, famous Hollywood pairings like Demi Moore and her 16-years-younger husband Aston Kutcher.
Yet despite the potential stereotyping and stigma, age-gap relationships that exist between some younger men and older women continue to survive, and thrive. Below are some of the reasons why some young men find older women more attractive
HE LOVES YOUR EXPERIENCE
There’s no getting around it: experience is valuable. You’ve become wiser and better at coping with difficult situations in life. You’ve been through it all in life, and a young man feels like there’s so much to learn from you. You’re the rock he’s always wanted. You might be attracted to his zest for life, but he loves the fact that you’ve got your life together and won’t take any shit. And yes, experience also applies to the bedroom.
YOU KNOW WHAT HE WANTS
I’ve recently come across a new concept in relationship psychology that explains so much about who men fall in love with. And I think it hits the nail on the head as to why men are attracted to older women. It’s called the hero instinct. Relationship expert James Bauer coined the term. In short, a man wants to see himself as a hero. As someone his partner genuinely wants and needs to have around. Not as a mere accessory, ‘best friend’, or ‘partner in crime’. Mens’ desires are not complicated, just misunderstood. Instincts are powerful drivers of human behavior and this is especially true for how men approach their relationships. I know it sounds a bit silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them, especially an older woman. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives. And I couldn’t agree more. But here’s the ironic truth- men do still need to feel like a hero. Because it’s built into their DNA to seek out relationships that allow them to feel like a protectoOlder women are more likely to recognize this need in men and feel empowered to actually trigger this instinct.
I don’t often pay much attention to popular new theories in psychology. Or recommend videos. But I think the hero instinct is a fascinating take on what makes a man fall in love and why they’re more attracted to older women.
HE CAN LEARN A LOT
The older you are, the experience you have. The more experience you have, the more you can teach. That’s why younger men are so attracted to older women, especially the men that are ambitious and want to expand themselves intellectually.
You’ll understand when you’re older.’ Literally everyone has heard those maddening words, and yet when you’re in a relationship with someone older than you – going to dinner together, choosing a flat together et al – you realise just how true it is.
Rich life experience is hard to come by, and a man will mature more quickly if they have someone to learn from. What’s more, you’ve had experience with different types of men, and you can easily point out the young man’s flaws and opportunities for growth.
You understand what kind of man he is and what kind of man he can be.
YOU BOTH KNOW WHAT YOU WANT
You’re older, wiser and know exactly what you want. A casual fling? Or a serious and meaningful relationship? You find the guy that’s right for you.
And while you might think that young men only want something quick, it’s not entirely true. Some guys become so in love with you, they just want to be with you for the rest of their life. In other words, you’re “the one”.
Some studies have found that men prefer honest women, particularly for long-term relationships.
HE RESPECTS YOU FOR ALL THAT YOU’VE ACHIEVED
You didn’t become a successful woman out of nowhere. It’s taken hard work, dedication and persistence. He understands, admires and respects this, as he knows how difficult it is for a woman to rise in the ranks.
Young men nowadays probably also recognize that older women are adept at diligently juggling so many responsibilities (career, children, housekeeping, fitness, finances, socializing), which makes them intriguing and attractive and a more secure option.
HE LEARNS A NEW PERSPECTIVE
Most people spend time with those who are their own age. This goes for dating as well.
So when you spend time with someone who is in a different stage of life, you see life through a different lens. It cannot be underestimated when can be learned from this.
A man who has been dating an older woman, there is so much to learn:
Just the fact that there’s so much to learn from an older woman, that they have so many more life experiences to draw upon, is an adventure to me. It’s like a rush.
You have a better idea of what’s important in life, and most importantly, what isn’t. Instead of worrying about little petty issues at work, you can help him see that there are bigger issues to focus on.
Getting his priorities straight gives him a huge upper hand in life.
YOU ARE CONFIDENT AND INDEPENDENT
Most younger ladies are more concerned about what people think of them.
But older women have been through that phase. Life experience has given them a better idea of who they are and what’s really important in life.
You don’t care as much what people think of you. You know it doesn’t matter. Young people tend to seek validation from others because they aren’t sure of who they are.
Confidence is attractive and research has also suggested that men and women rate confidence as an attractive trait in a potential partner. For a young man, this self-confidence you possess is captivating. It also leads to less drama, which is extremely attractive to any man.
YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY MATURE
Young people are filled with energy and hormones and as a result their emotions can get out of control. But an older woman has learned how to control her emotions. She’s been through the ups and downs of life. This doesn’t mean that you’re boring. Quite the opposite. You understand the value of basking in joyful moments and making the most of it.
Men also love the fact that you don’t play games. Mind games are very much the environ of the younger girl. Past 40, women are utterly upfront about where you’re going very wrong – brutal, certainly, but an easier way to live in so many other respects.
You just won’t get lost in toxic emotions that offer no value.
Why is this all so appealing for younger men?
Because an older woman can help him process his own emotions.
Male and female brains are biologically different. For instance, the limbic system is the emotional processing center of the brain and it’s much larger in the female brain than in a man’s.
That’s why women are more in touch with their emotions. And why guys can struggle to process and understand their feelings.
The thing is, to stimulate the emotional part of a man’s brain, you have to communicate with him in a way that he’ll actually understand.
YOU HAVE REFINED TASTES
Partying is fun when you first start getting involved in the club scene, but it can get pretty boring pretty quickly.
An older woman doesn’t want to go out dancing and get smashed. She’d rather go to a nice restaurant, have some wine and bask in meaningful conversations.
Maturity brings more grown up (and healthier) eating habits, with an appreciation of robust flavours like game, sour cheese and anchovies.”
After all, she’s worked hard for her money throughout her career and she wants to spend it wisely.
Therefore, young men love the calmness that comes with hanging out with you. You show them the good life, and they learn to appreciate the finer things.